its been 2 days we didnt contact each other.. we didnt chat, webcam, n not even called.. the far we did is comment in FB.. this is my decision. i decided not to contact him for a while. he didnt agree at first.. but i convince him its the best for our relationship.. its not mean that we are not in love anymore, but its just something happen, n makes me need a space for myself, n also him.. for past few month, i didnt know why we were always arguing, quarrele, n sometimes, we became mad to each other.. i know.. he mad at me for some reason.. i did notice that.. it just.. i really dont know what is going on.. something goes wrong between us.. maybe its my mistakes, but i dont know what is it.. i had apologize to him.. but still,there is no way better.. i did lie to him.. so many times.. i thought, it for his own good.. i dont want to hurt him.. but the things dont go right.. it makes him more hurt when he knows the truth.. i just cant lie to him anymore.. i told him all the truth,so i think, he might understand me.. but suddenly, he just got mad n.. i know, i need to fix the situation.. so, i did this.. give some space for me n him, to think again about our mistakes, n cool down..
so.. here we are.. today become the 3rd day.. hmm.. deep in my heart, i know that i miss him.. i dont know either imiss him because he always with me, or i'm really miss him.. do you know what i mean? i need to dip into my heart, am i really love him.. i know, if someone read this, u might think that i;m not love him anymore.. its not like that.. its just.. maybe its normal for anybody else, but for me, i 'm a kind of person that hard to show my feelings.. i dont know how to show it.. maybe some people show their love by saying 3 magic word, but for me, its doesnt mean anything if u always saying that.. for my own opinion, if u really feel that, than u say it.. that is what i think.. i'm kind of person that show my love, not even for him, but the person i love, such as my dad, mom,n my siblings, is by my action.. so now, what i'm trying to do is..to realize what exactly in my heart.. if i still love him,i need to find the best way, to cheer up our relationship.. i hope, our love will last forever.. i dont want to lose him.. i love him.. but i need to do something to make our love more strong.. n any problems that occur, we can face it together.. insya allah.. Amin..