Tuesday, April 17, 2012

skit ati..

salah ke klu aq luahkan perasaan? ye.. mmg aq terasa.. mmg bnd ni hal kcik je.. xpenting pn..tp salah ke aq just luahkan pe yg aq rse? mmg xptt aq wt mcm 2, tp ble mrh, pe yg kte ckp, sume di luar sedar.. aq sndri xsngka perkataan 2 kluar dr mlut aq, tp dh alang2 kluar kn, mmg ssh la nk trik blik.. tp.. aq hrpkn pengertian dr dy, tp bkn kata2 yg menyenangkan yg aq dgr, kemarahan yg mkin mengundang kesedihan yg aq terima.. slah aq k? ok, klu btul slh aq, ok.. aq mtk maaf.. tp slame kami knl, xprnh k dy fhm perangai aq mcm mne? aq tgh sedih, mengadu dkt dy.. yes, aq ckp bnd xspttnye.. tp bkn pd dy.. pd org lain.. tah la.. aq yg melampau, atau.. hm.. aq pn xtau..

tp pe yg aq rsakan skrg ialah sedih, terasa, t'tekan..mcm2 yg aq rse.. sedih n terasa bila tgk member serumah dpt g dinner anjuran jabatan dorg, sedangkan jabatan aq, xde wt pn sdgkn ktorg plajar sem akhir.. xmerasa nk g dinner.. sgt terasa n sedih.. sume lawa2 mlm ni.. aq plak xmerasa.. hm.. pe la nsib.. terasa tertekan plak, sbb.. pendrive member hilang, tp d sbbkn last skali nmpk ats ktil aq, maka, aq lah yg dperslhkn ats kehilangan pendrive 2.. dr td dok bsing nk pendrive dy.. tah la.. xtau la pe nsib aq mlm ni.. ad je yg xkne.. pe nk jd, jadi la.. mungkin mmg aq ni xsesuai dgn sesape pn.. aq ni mmg slalu wt mslh kt org.. aarrgghh!!! serabut!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

perasaan..

hati ini sedih dan pilu.. pedih yang amat menusuk hati.. empangan air mata yang ku cuba tahan, semakin retak.. air mata kian melimpah menuruni pipi.. salah aku kah? ku akui diri ini xsesempurna mana, tp diri ini juga pny hati dan perasaan.. aq mengerti hatinya yang ingin kan yang terbaek utk ku, namun diri ini, ttp diriku.. aq tidak mampu mlh sukar utk mngubahnya.. mesra tidak beerti ku punyai perasaan t'hdp sesorg itu, tetapi bagiku, dia telah pn ku anggap seperti keluarga ku sendiri.. senda gurauan adlah nadi hidupku.. klau tidak than utk menjadi bahan gurauan, jgn kita b'gurau dgn org.. itulah prinsip aq selama ini, tetapi.. nmpknya, prinsip ku ini tidak lg dpt kuteruskan.. mlahan ku rasa diri ini, bukan lg diri ku yg gemar b'gurau.. lebih2 lagi apbila b'gurau dgn kawan2 lelaki..

aku harapkan sebuah pengertian darinya.. ku amat berharap agar dia memahami diri ini, namun ku silap.. mungkin kejam bila kukatakan begini, tp hakikatnya, inilah yang ku rasa.. pd ku, dia dan teman2 ku sblm ni, sama saja.. t'lalu tkut.. tkut aq b'paling arah.. mungkin ku prnh t'silap langkah suatu ketika dlu, tp tidak b'mkna slamenya begitu.. teman ku sblm ini juga begitu, tp bkn krn ku t'silap langkah, tp krna temannya yg sblm diriku telah pergi tnpa berita mnyebabkan dirinya tkut aq juga begitu.. maka segala langkah ku diikat.. namun dy t'silap langkah.. tindakannya yg begitu, mkin m'buat aq t'tekan, lantas mnyebabkan hbungan kami  ptus.. ku xmahu ulang lagi kesilapan yg sme.. ku berikan spnuh kpercyaan dan spenuh ati padanya.. dan aku amat harapkan dia sgt2 faham akan diri ini.. aq mmg gemar b'gurau.. tp nmpknye, diri ini perlu kembali pada zaman dahulu dimana aq tidak mngenali dunia luar.. lbih sng begitu..

Sunday, March 4, 2012

miss him..

its been 2 days we didnt contact each other.. we didnt chat, webcam, n not even called.. the far we did is comment in FB.. this is my decision. i decided not to contact him for a while. he didnt agree at first.. but i convince him its the best for our relationship.. its not mean that we are not in love anymore, but its just something happen, n makes me need a space for myself, n also him.. for past few month, i didnt know why we were always arguing, quarrele, n sometimes, we became mad to each other.. i know.. he mad at me for some reason.. i did notice that.. it just.. i really dont know what is going on.. something goes wrong between us.. maybe its my mistakes, but i dont know what is it.. i had apologize to him.. but still,there is no way better.. i did lie to him.. so many times.. i thought, it for his own good.. i dont want to hurt him.. but the things dont go right.. it makes him more hurt when he knows the truth.. i just cant lie to him anymore.. i told him all the truth,so i think, he might understand me.. but suddenly, he just got mad n.. i know, i need to fix the situation.. so, i did this.. give some space for me n him, to think again about our mistakes, n cool down..

so.. here we are.. today become the 3rd day.. hmm.. deep in my heart, i know that i miss him.. i dont know either imiss him because he always with me, or i'm really miss him.. do you know what i mean? i need to dip into my heart, am i really love him.. i know,  if someone read this, u might think that i;m not love him anymore.. its not like that.. its just.. maybe its normal for anybody else, but for me, i 'm a kind of person that hard to show my feelings.. i dont know how to show it.. maybe some people show their love by saying 3 magic word, but for me, its doesnt mean anything if u always saying that.. for my own opinion, if u really feel that, than u say it.. that is what i think.. i'm kind of person that show my love, not even for him, but the person i love, such as my dad, mom,n my siblings, is by my action.. so now, what i'm trying to do is..to realize what exactly in my heart.. if i still love him,i need to find the best way, to cheer up our relationship.. i hope, our love will last forever.. i dont want to lose him.. i love him.. but i need to do something to make our love more strong.. n any problems that occur, we can face it together.. insya allah.. Amin..